Check before you transfer: stopping romance-investment scams
By Honne Trust & Safety · updated 2026-06-22
Investment-romance fraud — "pig butchering" — is now the costliest pattern in the category, with much of it beginning as an ordinary-looking match on a dating app (— U.S. FTC and Japan's National Police Agency)
The most damaging dating scams don't ask for money directly. They invite you into a "great opportunity" a caring partner is letting you in on — and by then your guard is already down.
There is one rule that defeats almost all of them: never move money to or for someone you have only met online. Everything below is how to hold that line.
Should you ever send money to someone you met dating?
No. A genuine partner will never make your affection conditional on a transfer, a gift card, crypto, or an "investment." The request itself — in any form, at any stage — is the end of the conversation, not a test of your commitment.
This holds even when nothing feels like a scam: real-seeming feelings are exactly what these schemes manufacture before the money ask arrives.
How do romance-investment ("pig butchering") scams work?
The scammer builds a warm relationship over days or weeks, then mentions an investment — crypto or foreign exchange — they're doing well with. They walk you onto a slick-looking platform, let you "see" profits grow, and even allow a small withdrawal to build trust. Then the deposits get bigger, and the withdrawals stop.
The platform is fake. The profits are numbers on a screen. The fees you're asked to pay to "release" your money are just more theft.
What are the signs an "investment" is a scam?
Any one of these is enough to stop. Together they're a certainty:
- Profits you can see but can't withdraw without paying a fee first.
- A trading or crypto platform only this one person recommends.
- Pressure to act fast, or to deposit more to "unlock" gains.
- A new match who steers the conversation toward money or trading at all.
- Requests for crypto, wire transfer, gift cards, or payment apps.
What should you do if you've already sent money?
Act fast, and stay on the prevention-and-reporting side — stop, preserve, report. Do not pay anyone who promises to "recover" your funds for a fee; that is a second scam.
- Stop all contact and stop any further transfers.
- Contact your bank or card provider immediately — speed matters for any chance of a freeze.
- Keep screenshots of profiles, chats, and transactions.
- Report it. In Japan: police consultation #9110 or Consumer Hotline 188. In the U.S.: ReportFraud.ftc.gov and IC3.gov.
Frequently asked questions
- What is "pig butchering"?
- It's a romance-investment scam where the victim is "fattened up" with affection and small fake profits before being drained on a bigger "investment." It usually starts as a normal-looking dating match.
- Can I get my money back after a romance-investment scam?
- Sometimes a fast bank report can freeze funds, so report immediately. Be very wary of anyone who contacts you promising recovery for an upfront fee — that is a common follow-on scam.
- How does verification help here?
- Confirming identity before contact strips away the anonymity these schemes depend on, and a verified, real person is accountable in a way an anonymous account never is.
Everything above is why we built Honne so every member is identity-verified before they can message you. If you’re a woman deciding where to date, see your safety on Honne.
Related: Is this dating profile real or fake? 9 checks in 2 minutes · Deepfake video calls: how to spot an AI-generated face
Educational information only — prevention guidance, not legal or financial-recovery advice.